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 Post Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:23 am 
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J the Virgin "My First Makeout"
AFC Journal Vol. III

I was in 9th grade.

I had NEVER "scammed" with a girl before.

"Scam/Scamming"= Popular term used in the early 90's in my area of Eagle Rock (elsewhere?), basically meaning "making out/tongue wrestling/swapping spit".

I had never been to a "scam" party before.

This wasnt "spin the bottle" or shit like that. Very different.

Not even close.

This was planned out. The idea is to go through the year book, find a girl you liked, network through freinds to contact her, invite her to the party, and meet there for the purpose of "scamming".

Me and my friend Frijole were on my bed checking out the yearbook. We called him Frijole because he once farted accidently in class in the 7th grade, and we never let him forget it. He suffered a humiliation I cant even imagine, since at that age all things of that sort have a tendency to stick with you.

He loved beans. He was my best friend at the time.

The Scam Party was next Saturday.

J the Virgin: Check out page #43. I wonder if she'd suck my dick.

Frijole: I heard she sucked Cameron's dick in the treehouse last summer. If you scammed with her it would be like if you sucked Cameron's dick. And I heard Cameron fucks his mom up the ass. So that would be like sucking Cameron's dick and eating his mom's ass out. And she's fat and ugly.

J the Virgin: True...check out this one on on page 57, a cutie...Angela Hernandez...you know of her?

Frijole: I jacked off to her a couple times, but she's kinda greasy.

We flipped through the pages, as if the girls we actually picked would seriously even consider coming with us. We were dreaming. I still didnt know how we got invited in the first place.

We were dorks. We were outcasts. Who would want to scam with me and Frijole? I already had disgusting acne scars, and new pimples were claiming thier territory on my face all the time. My face was always sore since I popped each zit that would appear with delicate presicion. Frijole didnt look much better. His head was slightly mis-shapen, and he had buck teeth like a beaver. We were an ugly pair; Mexico's Least wanted.

Our life consisted of going to the comic shop after school (this is around the time Superman died), playing Sega Genesis, and watching wrestling. I had just written an essay on why Captian Picard from Star Trek TNG was the best of all the Captian's.

We were losers to the majority out there, but we at least had each other. The only reason the cool kids somewhat liked me was because I could skateboard, played in a band and because Benny Gonzales (a leader of a cholo gang called the La Vengansa) stood up for me once when I was being fucked with by the preppies. But I had no real social skills. I was pretty much a mute.

Looking through the yearbook was just a front...we'd never actually have the balls to contact a chick, and have her meet us at the party. My face was too greasy. I wouldnt know what to say because my biggest enemy my mouth...it would always betray me by never working when I most needed it to. I hated my mouth.

But I couldnt take it anymore. Maybe I wouldn't get my dick sucked or fuck...but I wanted to makeout.

I had to.

If I could learn to kickflip off a 5 stair, learn the solo to NOFX's "Liza and Louise" and twril a pencil in cool different directions around my fingers, I knew I could learn how to be a good kisser.

As a kid, I was always fascinated by old B&W movies, especially scenes where the leading man (I always pictured myself as James Cagney) would take the damsel in his arms, and kiss her so passionatley that she would just wither in his arms, almost lifeless, overcome by the very act itself. To feel her lips on mine, and to taste and savor every precious drop of her sweet mouth...I wanted that more than anything.

J the Virgin: I found the one fucker!! Jenny Carillo, page fuckin 25.

I closed my eyes, and pictured myself with Jenny and us kissing, just like in the movies. I shut my eyes tighter, clenched my fist and tensed up every muscle in my body. I cleared my mind of all else, and at that moment I did myself a rare favor...I made myself a promise.

Because I deserved it.

Because I desperatley craved it my all my fuckin heart...

Because if I could do this one thing, then maybe, just maybe....I'd be normal.

Next Saturday, I was gonna scam.

================================================== ==============

Cast of Characters:


I was in English class, and I heard them all talking about the party.

I shivered in my seat, embarrased because I stood out by not saying anything. As everyone talked about what a great time it was gonna be, I sat there quietly, pretending to be busy doing my work. I felt so small, so inadequete, inferior...and I knew they could tell.

Rodrigo: Yo J, whats a tragic hero? Its the question on #4.

We were doing an assingment on the book we were reading, Lord of the Flies. Rodrigo would never hesitate to use me for a quick answer. He was cool with me, and once when I was at the 7-11 doing my sk8 tricks, he took the time to watch me for a few minutes, and whistle at me when I'd pop a fat trick.

J the Virgin: In the novel, Piggy would be the tragic hero because his error in judgement led him to his own destruction.

I wasn't sure if I was bullshitting him, and I didnt care. I was sick of being used all the time. But then he did said a few sentences that probably ended up changing my life.

Rodrigo: Thanks man. Hey, you going to Nelly's scam party? You should go.

J the Virgin: I dunno, my band might be playing (I was bullshitting...we didnt have a gig for another 2 weeks).

Rodrigo: You should go man, it'll be fun. And bring fuckin Frijole with you, that guy is fuckin nuts.

I can usually detect bullshit from people pretty easily, and the first thought that ran through my mind was that he was fucking with me, taunting me, basically making me look like a fool to invite me to such a party...but as I heard him say the words, and as I looked into his street tough eyes (he was affiliated with La Vengansa as well), I knew he was for real. He wanted me to go.

Or maybe I was just fooling myself into believing him, because if it wasnt true and he was just fucking with me...I couldnt bare to even let the thought process through my mind.

Either way, I convinced myself he was sincere.

I couldnt wait to tell Frijole.
================================================== =======================

J the Virgin: Hey fucker, tell your grandma you cant fuck her wearing your S&M mask and nipple clamps as you force her to yell out Biblical verses in Latin this Saturday...we're going to the Scam Party.

Frijoleblank expression)

J the Virgin: We got invited bitch, for reals.

Frijole: (does the jack off hand motion)

After I sell him on the idea (and actually probably selling myself on it as well), we smoke some weed and open up a bag of PepperJack Flavor Dorritos.

We sit on the bed, and flipped through the book together for awhile. Ever page we turn is like an imaginary buffet of "preb" pleasure....I imagined scamming with each girl in the book, and tried to capture each moment as if it were happening...of course, it would always transition to me getting my dick sucked.

After I had decided on Jenny, he decided to pick Natalie. This worked out perfectly. Natalie and Jenny were both in a sub clique of girl stoners (mostly freshman/sophmores), but weren't actually in the real "girl stoner clique", most of whom were already seniors.

I knew Frijole would pick Natalie. He never let me know it straight up, but I know he liked her...ALOT. She was a bit of an outcast herself (even within her own group of outcasts).

Jenny was slightly cuter than the rest in that crowd...But Natalie had a hidden sort of cuteness I couldnt really get a handle on...Kool-Aid dyed red hair, anarchy pen marks scribbeled on her Vans, and random punk patches on her Jansport backpack, she had something very cute about her too. She had come to see my band play once with Jenny, and they way she looked at me while I was on stage really did something to me...Her face was almost as cratered as mine, but I knew behind her pimply collage, that she could maybe be a pretty girl.

But If I was gonna have my first real kiss, I wanted it to be with Jenny. I felt more of a physical attraction with her.

Natalie had actually prank called Frijole months ago and thats how they actually met. She had called him pretending he had won the "Baskin Robbins Free Ice Cream" and having him name 31 flavors in 31 seconds to claim his prize, without knowing him. She had apparently dialed his number randomly (she was bored and was a pothead too). Turned out she stayed on the phone longer than usual (Frijole had a way of doing that) and they hit it off. She was cute, but in a plain Jane sorta way, but I basically saw her as a non-sexual entity. She had a nice body, but I never really felt any attraction towards her. Frijole had a oneitis on her.

Frijole had already asked Natalie to the scam party, and she had apparently accepted. I was happy for him...if all went well we'd end up pulling a double scam, and maybe not feel like such losers after all was said and done.

Even though Jenny and I knew each other, we never really talked or got to REALLY know each other. I didnt really have a mega crush on her, but I knew she had something special. Unlike Natalie, who I considered rather "just cute" (but not quite ugly), Jenny had at least potential to be hot...someday.

I called up Natalie to help me get Jenny's number (part of me still unconvinced I'd actually have the balls to call Jenny once I had the number). Then something unexpected happened.

I felt like I was on a familiar path that suddenly started changing...everything I thought I knew started to morph and turn into something so alien and strange that it alarmed me, as every second passed by...Im not quite sure how it happened, but even though my goal was to call Natalie with the intent of getting Jenny's number, I ended up never getting around to asking for the number...instead I stayed on the phone talking Natalie and talk to her for over 4 hours.

I was spent 4+ hours talking to the girl Frijole had a oneitis on.

I felt like...

A fuckin dick.
================================================== ============================

We ended up talking about EVERYTHING. We poured our guts out to each other about our insecurities...I'd never really done that before with anyone. I felt liberated. Finally there was someone out there who knew what I went through everyday. The daunting responsibilty of trying to be normal. To be normal for our family, our friends, our teachers...

To ourselves.

The whole time I thought I knew her, I really didnt. I never gave her a chance before. We had so much in common emotioanlly, and interest-wise...we both loved The Misfits, and were both into 'Trek...she actually was into the whole Borg vs. Federation feud. I'd found my dork double, and not once did I even think about Jenny. We talked about concepts dealing with existence, reality, the universe...and we werent even stoned. She was a Hulkamanic for christsakes!

I had so much fun talking to this girl. I felt so close to her I could almost feel her touch over the reciever. As I lay in my bed, switching the phone from ear to ear (I'd never had an ear sore from just talking on the phone) and wondering why I'd never awknowledged this girl as nothing more than someone who maybe I'd let suck my dick.

J the Virgin: So you going to the scam party?

Natalie: Yea, I'll be there..why, are YOU asking me there?

All I could do was think of Frijole.

What the fuck was I doing? My best freind, compadre, sidekick...I was taking his chick.

But I had to do something I knew I could trust...the same drive that led me to play music, the same drive that led me to take a leap of faith and go off ledges/staircases on my skateboard...

I had to follow the only absolute truth I knew could count on...

I had to follow my heart.

So 4 hours on the phone might as well have been the equivelent of 4 years. At the end of the conversation, I was practically in love with this girl. This girl who had a mess of a pimple face like me...this girl who would never get a second look from any other guy on the street....the girl who was my best friend Frijole's oneitis...

The girl I suddenly found myself drawn to.

I wanted to scam with her.
================================================== =========================

I call Frijole the next day.

J the Virgin: Sup fucker.

Frijole: Sup pendejo.

J the Virgin: So you know, about the scam party and everything...

Frijole: Yeah, I already know. Natalie just called me awhile ago. Says she's going with you now.

My heart froze. WTF? She didnt tell me she was gonna tell him. I was trying to prepare all day on how I would word it, and now apparently Natalie had beat me to the punch. I started to question my decision even more than ever.

J the Virgin: (silent) Dude, I dont know what to say.

And I didnt. I was completly thrown off guard.

Frijole: (silent) There's nothing to say pendejo. She wants to go with you. You wanna go with her.

He knew. He fuckin knew. I felt smaller than being an outcast could ever feel. I was fucking over my hommie for a girl I had spoken to on the phone for 4 hours.

J the Virgin: I feel weird about this...Im...sorry?

And I was. I was a sorry piece of shit. How many times had Frijole and I spent smoking week and saying "Bro's before hoes"?

I'd betrayed him. I knew it. He knew it.

Frijole: Dont worry fucker, its cool. We still cool. Whatever.

I took his oneitis. And the blow of having his oneitis taken away from his best friend...I cant imagine how he must have felt.

J the Virgin: (silent) Ok then.

I knew the next time we'd speak, and from here on out, it would never be the same again. I'd lost him.

Frijole: Ok.

Just the way he said "Ok" made me cringe. I knew him better than anyone, as he knew me.


J the Virgin: ....later.

================================================== ===================================

It's Saturday, and it's 8pm. Time to roll out.

I was gonna scam tonite.

And even though I had fucked over Frijole, I selfishly didnt care...tonite I'd be normal. I'd be like Benny, like Rodrigo, and all the other kids who treated me like I didnt really belong. An even the times they'd be cool with me, I couldnt help but suspect they knew I wasnt as high value as I percieved them...but for tonite, at least for one fuckin night, I'd be on thier playing field, id be in their world...

After II finished getting ready, I grabbed my skateboard and headed down to Nelly's Scam Party.

But I had to pass Frijole's house...it was on the way. I ollied over a tree root growing into the sidewalk, and the clatter was enough for Frijole to hear me coming. About a 3rd of a block away from his house, he could hear me coming. I saw his window curtain pull back, and he watched me as I approached, skating down the sidewalk. I passed by his house, and I saw him wave at me through the window.

I knew that smile he wore. It was the same smile I knew all too well. It was like a mask. A smile mask we'd put on to try to fool everyone else...but we couldnt fool each other.

I waved back with the same smile and skated away.
================================================== ======================================

I get to Nelly's house, and all i can think of is Frijole. I'd never done something this fucked up to a freind before. I go inside, and head straight out to the back yard and see Rodrigo with his girl.

Rodrigo: J!!! What up fucker!! Who you gonna scam wit?

And right by the picket fence, I see Natalie smoking a joint with another girl from her crew.

J the Virgin: That one over there.

My heart raced, I knew that when I woke up tomorrow, it would be as someone who had scammed...I couldnt wait.

I walk towards her, so sure of my intent...I had never walked that way up until that moment.

Frijole left my mind. I'd never seen Natalie look so pretty, holding that joint to her red lips, and inhaling it like it was her last breath.

J the Virgin: Sup? Wanna go inside?

She smiled, but it was a nervous one. I knew right away this was quite possibly her first scam also. It had never occured to me until now. She passes off the joint to her friend, I take her by the hand (mine is sweating like never before) and I take her inside the house, not really sure where we're gonna go.

There's people scamming all over the place, and as we walk in, I feel all eyes on us, but really there were no eyes watching. I take a glance at her, and make her beautiful in my mind...this was the girl I had spent all that time on the phone talking to, exposing myself to her like I;d never done. This was the girl who for the last 24 hrs made my insides all gushy and weak...this was the girl I chose to be with, my first scam, and throw my friendship with Frijole to the wind (where it remains forever).

I take her into the den, and amazingly no one is in there. I sit on the sofa, and she kneels in front of me.

Natalie: Are you ready?

J the Virgin: Yes.

I close my eyes, and we touch lips. My hands automatically hold the sides of her face.

We touch tongues.

Wet, wonderful, cool and weed flavored...We swirl for 20 minutes, and it feels like a dream. I drink her sip by sip and suck her lips, as I'd always wanted to do. I was in the movies now. I was fucking James Cagney. I felt her wither in my arms. I made it so. I dont want this moment to ever end. I open my eyes and see myself in her...I dont know for sure, but I think she;s feeling the same thing as me...

And for the first time since I could remember up until that time, I felt normal beacuse....

Im scamming, just like everyone else.
================================================== ===================================

-J the Ripper


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 Post Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:37 am 

Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2007 9:09 pm
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Location: Las Vegas, NV
consider a career as a writer.

 Post Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 7:03 am 
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Intrancing as always Ripper. Your story really made me reflect on just exactly how powerful our first sexual experiences are, and how they mold us sexually. You, the makeout king - getting your first experience making out as a 20 minute bliss would set the cornerstone for your future. Myself, mine would mold my own interest in silk and asian girls. I wonder if we are all just trying to relive the first times, since they had such an impact on us.


 Post Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:55 am 
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Another great glimpse into the past, Ripper. I almost wish we were all writing stories from our Virgin&AFC days because everyone's got them, many of which I'm sure are very similar, many of which I'm sure are very different.

Yeah Ferret, I think you might be on to something. I believe our first sexual experiences mold us as well. For example, reading J's first volume made me realize that I have(and probably still will) always compared every girl I've kissed to my first LTR - who happened to be my first makeout, and a great kisser. No one has come close, and I have no idea why I always pit these chicks against each other in my mind. Must be a subconscious, now conscious, thing.

Keep rockin those stories Ripper, looking forward to the next.

"It has to start somewhere. It has to start sometime ...What better place than here? ...What better time than now? All Hell Can't Stop us now!"

 Post Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:00 am 

Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:38 pm
Posts: 292
Location: Yorba Linda
I imagined scamming with each girl in the book, and tried to capture each moment as if it were happening...of course, it would always transition to me getting my dick sucked


but yeah- your fucking money like lucky said

You're only one perspective away from the road to happiness - Jack

 Post Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:57 pm 
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Props on not only being able to play the game and have the experiences, but on the ability to wrap it up and sell it as well.

Ferret wrote:
I wonder if we are all just trying to relive the first times, since they had such an impact on us.

Mine was in the 7th grade with a girl 3 years older than me. You guys know how that fits me oh so well... ;)

"If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them." -My Dad
גם זה יעבור

 Post Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:12 pm 
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Its funny this subject is brought up because at least he is able to say his first kiss came in during his high school years. Mine didnt come until i was 22 and it wasnt with a chick i necessarily liked. (Yes i know pathetic but when i look back i dont think i would have been ready for the stuff i know now) Anyway, I agree our first makeout (sex or whatever in that regard) molds us. For me i actually could have gone all the way, in fact she wanted me to but i refused her because she was drunk and that didnt set well with my conscience. The good news was that i felt that i could take it all the way with a woman not because i was some guy she might have liked, but because i knew within myself that i had the ability to please a woman and that night with her proved everything i knew i could do. Until recently i didnt know how i could replicate that confidence with women i "wanted" to be with. Its funny cause sometimes i think in our AFC days we were closer to success than we thought, but one small mistake here and there caused our failure everytime. With that said, i am now going to get ready for tonight, where i hope i can contribute a positive report from the place where i do side work: Tuttos bar.

 Post Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 11:18 am 
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Mantis wrote:
Mine was in the 7th grade with a girl 3 years older than me. You guys know how that fits me oh so well... ;)

I hope she called you Cute. :lol:

"It has to start somewhere. It has to start sometime ...What better place than here? ...What better time than now? All Hell Can't Stop us now!"

 Post Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 12:51 am 
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Muse wrote:
I hope she called you Cute. :lol:

She still does. But now its funny because im almost a foot and a half taller than her.

"If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them." -My Dad
גם זה יעבור

 Post Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 2:40 am 
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Location: Oceanside, CA
I always enjoy these reminiscent memoirs J. and its true that Picard was the best Captain. my mom was an insane trek-y and i grew up on TNG... well played sir


Obey. Serve. Love. Excel. But mostly love.

you do that now...

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