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 Post Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 11:08 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2007 11:46 pm
Posts: 3447
Location: Inland Empire, CA
FR:J the Ripper's "Choking the Smurf" 11/24/07

I rubbed her flat soft stomach, as she purred in my ear. A nice, cute, little trailer park park looking white girl with low morals...and I was all smiles. God, I love coming to the SaddleBack in Universal City. Usually in these dialouges we refer to the girl as HB this number or that, but I'm kinda sick of that shit. If you must know she was a 7, but for the purpose of this report she will be know as Trailer Park Mary. And TPM had a friend, Dick Nose Jane (6) aka DNJ.

J the Ripper: Listen, I wanna show you something. It's nothing nasty or perverted ok. Give me your best hug ever, but hold it.

TPM: OK, like this?

J the Ripper: Yea, now hold it, and tell me how it feels.

TPM: It feels good...

J the Ripper: Now when something feels this good, you never want it to end. With me, I think I could hold you all night...(thanks for that NLP tip VK)

Just then my impromtu wingman who I had just met 5 minutes earlier (we'll call him Grabby Garry) did something to piss off Ms. DNJ.

DNJ: What the fuck dude, get your hands off!!!

Gary: *Wh..blehh...mumble muble*

And just like that, KABLAMMM!!! He fucks up our set. Talk about a mood shift...My trailer park princess (with toes rings on each fuckin toe) breaks my embrace and tends to her freaked out friend. My wingman looks at me, and I shake my head at him. Douchebag.

J the Ripper: Ladies, excuse my friend, he didnt mean any harm, let's go have a smoke...

But it was too late...the girls scurried away, and I didnt follow.

Gary:Sorry man, I just saw you doing your thing, and it looked good so I thought I'd try it too...

J the Ripper: It's ok slapnuts, have I good night. (fist bump)

So as my boner resedes, I walk towards the fire pit, and unsurpringly, my Casanova Crew comrades are deep in set. As I go join them, I turn to my left and see just my type of girl...Bulimic Betty (as 8 as they come)....

Players for the night representing the "vato" contingent of CC:

J the Ripper (El Hefe)
Syron (Manos Traviesas)
JiantJ (El Gigante)

All the other guys were resting from the 14 Day Non-Stop sarging binge and Vegas field trip, or were off having Day2's. Seems like most of Casanova Crew is getting more and more Day2's which is fucking awesome.

JiantJ and I meet up with Syron at City Walk. Syron is an animal...the most advanced kino machine in our group...this is the kind of guy who can get away with just about ANYTHING...example, while most guys would approach and gradually throw in the kino while calibrating the buying temperture, Syron has the ability to walk up to a girl, pat her butt, pick her up, and tell her how much he'd like to have sex with her...and have her love him for it. Ive seen him do it several times and his personality is so magnetic I could just sit and watch him do pick up all night. This guy is notorious for same night pulls, and has had several, especially at Fox Fire in OC.

JiantJ and I open up a 2 set of cute petite hispanic chicks who happened to be sisters (Chola 1 and 2). JiantJ opens the set first, and he intro's me with big time DHV's, as a good wing should:

JiantJ: Girls, I want you to meet my best friend, and all around awesomest guy in the world, J.

J the Ripper: Nah, ladies this guy is the man...if I was ever in jail, this is the guy I'm gonna call to bail me out.

The girls are giggling, and likely impressed by the way we built each other up. They were on the other side of the wood barricade, but were now fully turned in our direction.

JiantJ: Hey guys, ever wonder what color a smurf would turn if you choked him?

Chola 1: Blue?

Chola 2: Purple?

J the Ripper: Purple sounds about right. I'd choke him like this (thumb and index finger, said with a manical smile)

Cholas: *giggle, wiggles*

JiantJ: Well you guys are all wrong, smurfs dont exist, silly (slightly elbowing his target)

They laugh it up and I cant help but laugh too, I believe it's the first time Ive heard this one. JiantJ credits our CC brother Renissance for telling him about it.

We chit chat for another 5 minutes, and they go to the bathroom (they had just downed a vase shaped blue drink), and tell us to wait for them. Fuck that. JiantJ and I wander off to find Syron. We go over to the bar area and run into a 4 set. I walk up to the quiet one, Jewish Jenny (6), and her friend, Big Tits Tammy (7). BTT has a bit of an attitude problem, and I happen to particularly like these. It's a challenge, and fun watching them drop thier bitch shield.

BTT: Excuse me, we are not interested, this is my girlfriend right here.

Jewish Jenny:*mute*

J the Ripper: Awww, and I can see why you love her so much! She is adorable, look at her fuckin little sneaky smile. (I go and boldly put my arm around Jewish Jenny not knowing if Im going to be get slapped or yelled at...but I mind fucked myself, and made it feel right...I envisioned pulling it off a milisecond before doing it)

With my arm around Jenny (she still hasnt said a word but is loving the attention and has a smile on her face), I raise an imaginary glass and toast BTT.

BTT: Hey, dont be all up on my girl...(but since Jewish Jenny was smiling and already resting her head on my shoulder, BTT's defenses dropped before our eyes)

J the Ripper: Dont get jealous babe, let me show you some love too. (I get in between them. and hold BTT tight in one arm, and Jenny with the other, as JiantJ takes pictures.)

J the Ripper: You know what, I love your attitude, you know why?

BTT: Why?

J the Ripper: Because you and I have something in common, you know what?

BTT: What?

J the Ripper: I can tell already from knowing you for 30 seconds that we are the kind of people who dont give a FUCK about anything, we just wanna have a good time, and dont take shit from no one. But if you and I ever hooked up (the smile on her face at this point was priceless) we would fight all the time, and I would win.

BTT: No way, I would win!

J the Ripper: Youre so cute, you actually think you'd win...wait, I'm ignoring your friend Jenny, let me show her some love, I miss her already.

I banter back and forth with them, and they keep thier arms around me as I do some phony palm reading shit that Im making up on the spot; and they know it, but are into it. Time for another picture. JiantJ snaps one as they are both kissng me. They start to leave and we hug goodbye.

On our way back outside, we pass through a hallway and I see the cutest girl I'd seen all night: Bulimic Betty. Just my type. I love them super skinny and deprived of nourishment; this is probably the fastest # close I have ever done. She is walking fast in the oppisite direction with her freinds towards the ladies room and they are all arm linked. I see her, and tap her shoulder as we pass by each other and say:

15 seconds:

J the Ripper: I saw you earlier and I really wanted to meet you, you know why?

Bulimic Betty: Why? (her friends are walking away but still arm linked with Betty, who has now made a full halt and is standing beside me...her friends are pissed and want her to keep walking but she wants to hear me out.

J the Ripper: Look, youre going that way, Im going this way, if you believe in destiny, give me your number.

I bust out my phone and number close her, as her friends yank her away. I had a flashback of David Deangelo saying how he could number close in minutes, sometimes seconds...and I remember thinking that was impossible. Now doing it myself (and getting makeouts within the same time span) it's an awesome feeling.

I rejoin JiantJ and Syron in the patio, and we open up another set. Parole Officer Pam (6) and 22 Yr Old Tina (6). I open.

J the Ripper: OMG, look at you guys, you are too cute! I am just drawn to positive female energy and you guys got it, high 5! (I high five both of them, and intro JiantJ, and right away we isolate and I run my earring routine which I've posted in my last few FR's.)

I qualify 22 by giving her hugs and a twirl. We share her drink and I have my arm around her. Honestly I forgot whatt we talked about but I number closed her as they were gonna split. We had a fun interaction, and I really felt good talking with her. She was making me laugh and I was impressed by that since my humor is very dark and sarcastic. Even if I dont pursue her as a fuck buddy, I think she'd be an awesome friend. I was mildly attracted, but my dick wasnt moving. JiantJ at this point mentioned that I was doing something really cool that he had noticed.

JiantJ: Ripper, you notice that new shit youve been doing?

Ripper: Wha??

JiantJ: You've been doing a hook technique, and very fucking well. Everytime you make a statement to them, you say "And you know why". Everytime you say "And you know why", they come back to you if they are walking the other way, or while youre talking they get even more interested. I'm gonna try that. The more you say it the more hooked they become.

From studying with Vince Kelvin, cold reading is a very ingrained part of my game. I guess while Im doing it, I do have a habit of making a cold read statement, and then asking them "You know Why", vs. just tellling them. Now that Im conscious of the fact that im doing that, Im going to try some variations. Thanks for pointing that out to me JiantJ.

After the club had closed down, Syron and myself opened a set of hot black chicks, as we walked back to the parking structure. Takwonka (7) and Nene (7). I opened 'Kwonka.

J the Ripper: And I only have one thing to say to you. Do you realize whats going on right now?

Takwonka: Yeas, Im walking to my car and gonna get some mutherfuckin sleep.

J the Ripper: I love that attitude, you know why?

Tawkwonka: Why?

And I go into my "We're the same, blah blah" that I did on the girl by the bar, and she was loving it. JiantJ was filming us (I believe the first time anyone has filmed me doing live pick up) and I had my arm around her & was kissing her face, while she was holding a container of left over quesadillas. When she spoke out of turn or was acting bad, i'd pat her ass and tell her that her boyfriend isnt spanking her enough. We take some pictures together, and part ways.

All in all, not one of my better nights. When I woke up this morning I looked through my numbers and couldnt tell who was who, and I had 2 others that I didnt even remember closing. We went to go pig out at PINKS in Hollywood and Syron controlled the whole resturant. He was acusing the server of being Al Pacino in disguise, and everyone there was laughing wondering what the hell Syron would say next. He was making loud sexual jokes about the sausages, and he had everyone in line rolling.

I went home thinking that I need to break into the next level. Numbers and makeouts aint cutting it no more. I've had several F-Closes this year, and even a same night pull from a club, but Im not at the level I want to be at. Ive been racking my brain trying to figure out what I may be missing. And even though I have a blast, I cant help but feel a little empty sometimes. What do I want?

-J the Ripper


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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:11 am 

Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:38 pm
Posts: 292
Location: Yorba Linda
Those blue drinks were most likely Adios Mother FUckers haha

Loved the 15 sec #close

You're only one perspective away from the road to happiness - Jack

 Post Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 9:53 pm 
Steamroller Show Podcast Host
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Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:10 pm
Posts: 801
Location: Rialto, CA
J The Ripper wrote:
A nice, cute, little trailer park park looking white girl with low morals...and I was all smiles. God, I love coming to the SaddleBack in Universal City

J the Ripper: Listen, I wanna show you something. It's nothing nasty or perverted ok. Give me your best hug ever, but hold it.

TPM: OK, like this?

J the Ripper: Yea, now hold it, and tell me how it feels.

TPM: It feels good...

Hahaha the Saddle Ranch Baby! Lumbering it up and JTR doing his thing! Historic trademark indeed...!

You giving Trailer Park Mary that hug is definitely more epic than when Frank The Tank went to give Mr. Effi a hung... and then he said "NO!" while holding is arm straight toward his chest!

***Rebranded as The Saint***
'Cause if it's fast, or slow! All I really know, is I'm gonna enjoy the ride!! - Krewella
Just label me the bad guy tonight ... I used to be your man but today I woke up as your friend - Afrojack

I'm on Instagram!
Follow me: SteamRollerX

 Post Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:25 am 
Casanova Crew Founder
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Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2007 11:46 pm
Posts: 3447
Location: Inland Empire, CA
Ok Steam, how much did VK pay you to bump this 4 year old thread?


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