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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:07 pm 
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I met this girl who works as a bartender a few months ago. She recently turned 24. I know that I am not in the friend category, or just viewed as a customer, but it doesn't seem like I'm able to take it to the next level, despite her attraction to me. I think she might be scared of getting hurt, since she calls me "player." I recently sent her the following text and got this response: Then I said, you probably have a few fans yourself at the bar, so try and stay humble, like me! lol! She texts me back saying, "I am humble." So I sent her a text saying, "I know, that's why I said, stay humble. You're pretty chill, we should hang out together sometime. On second thought, that's probably not a good idea. It would never work. (Experimenting with "push-pull.") She text's me back: " what do you mean by work?" I responded, "Well, a girl like you is probably looking for 'the rock' on her finger, a house in the suburbs with the white picket fence, and some little tiger children running around (I nicknamed her "tiger girl"). I'm probably not the right guy for that, but if you are cool with hanging out, and having some cool adventures together, without too many expectations, then that's a different story." She texts me back a day or two later, and asked me, " Hey r u in town?"

So I text her back: "Yeah, I'm around town. You just keeping tabs on me, or you have a reason for asking?" So far, no response. I'm thinking of going and seeing her tonight at her work, because I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks, but not sure if it's the best way to escalate things. Any tips or ideas?

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InTent "Rock Star"

"You don't get confidence first. First, you do the thing that scares you the most, then you get the confidence (courage)!" (Originator unknown)

Translation to "Game": Approach smoking hot women without hesitation even though you're scared shit less, and eventually through practice and repetition, it will get easier!


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 Post Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:59 am 
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girl asks if you're in town, you don't need to ask her for a reason, just ask her to come cuddle with you and a bottle of wine

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 Post Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:50 am 
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Yeah, good point!

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InTent "Rock Star"

"You don't get confidence first. First, you do the thing that scares you the most, then you get the confidence (courage)!" (Originator unknown)

Translation to "Game": Approach smoking hot women without hesitation even though you're scared shit less, and eventually through practice and repetition, it will get easier!


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 Post Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:16 am 
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Quote:
I met this girl who works as a bartender a few months ago. She recently turned 24.


Ignore her age altogether. (unless she's under 18, obviously!). If you don't focus on her age, odds are, she won't either. But the fact that you mention her age shows you are focusing on that. Ignore it.

Quote:
I know that I am not in the friend category, or just viewed as a customer, but it doesn't seem like I'm able to take it to the next level, despite her attraction to me.


How do you know she's attracted to you?

Quote:
I think she might be scared of getting hurt, since she calls me "player."


Then stop coming off as a "player".

Quote:
I recently sent her the following text and got this response: Then I said, you probably have a few fans yourself at the bar, so try and stay humble, like me! lol! She texts me back saying, "I am humble." So I sent her a text saying, "I know, that's why I said, stay humble. You're pretty chill, we should hang out together sometime. On second thought, that's probably not a good idea. It would never work. (Experimenting with "push-pull.")


Ummm, a bit "gamey", and too much.
Quote:
She text's me back: " what do you mean by work?" I responded, "Well, a girl like you is probably looking for 'the rock' on her finger, a house in the suburbs with the white picket fence, and some little tiger children running around (I nicknamed her "tiger girl"). I'm probably not the right guy for that, but if you are cool with hanging out, and having some cool adventures together, without too many expectations, then that's a different story."


Again, too much in the text. Yikes, you're sending her an essay!

Quote:
She texts me back a day or two later, and asked me, " Hey r u in town?"


Ok, she's interested. Or perhaps just bored. Hard to know.

Quote:
So I text her back: "Yeah, I'm around town. You just keeping tabs on me, or you have a reason for asking?"


This is REALLY bad, here's why.

1) FAR too wordy. Again, your texts to her are like fucking essays. Make them short, sweet and to the point.

2) You're putting her on the spot. Women do NOT want responsibility... when you ask her WHY she's asking, you're in essence making her responsible and forcing her to "commit" or "give you and answer" as to why she's texting you. Women do NOT want that.

A better response would have been: "yeah, I'm in town. You?"

Quote:
So far, no response. I'm thinking of going and seeing her tonight at her work, because I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks, but not sure if it's the best way to escalate things. Any tips or ideas?


yeah, DO NOT go to her work. You'll become that "creepy dude" who "visits" the girl at work who isn't dating you.

Let her sit a week or two, then text her and invite her to join you on something you're already doing...

"hey, I'm going to XYZ, you should join me!" Invite her out on a casual, low key manner, with no pressure, and see where it goes.

Stop the long texts, and the gamey responses, and you'll do better.

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 Post Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:28 pm 
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Yeah, I've since realized the mistake I making with the long texts, and talked to Gigantor last night after he spoke at the CCOC Lair meeting, about what he says, "be the man, and take the lead." Not quite sure how to go about that, although he suggested something similiar to what you wrote, but he said be non-specific about a day, so she isn't able to say she can't make it on that day. Just do more of a future pacing, like: " I'm going to be going down to Newport to shoot some pool next week, and it's gonna be way cool. You should come down there and hang out with me." It's really like you said, putting her on the spot and forcing her hand is a bad idea, and it doesn't work. Now I know why. It did text her before about joining me in something I was going to be doing as follows, but probably too wordy, as you say: "I'm gonna go down to the beach tomorrow (Sunday, her only day off of work), and go for a little bike ride down the boardwalk. Probably stop in some place for a drink or two after. If you want to come down and hang out for awhile, give me a holla, and I can let you know where we can meet up. Maybe you can screen the girls for me. You know, make sure they aren't after ALL my money! lol!" (She knows I am on unemployment, right now).

Pretty bad for several reasons, right? Never got an answer on that one, although I have text with her after this. I realize that maybe there isn't as much attraction built as I think, but maybe there is. My goal is to find out one way or another, and move on if it isn't there, or can't be salvaged. No "one-itis" problem with her, as I am getting out and gaming girls several times a week, night and day game, plus I have others I have met. Any thoughts?

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InTent "Rock Star"

"You don't get confidence first. First, you do the thing that scares you the most, then you get the confidence (courage)!" (Originator unknown)

Translation to "Game": Approach smoking hot women without hesitation even though you're scared shit less, and eventually through practice and repetition, it will get easier!


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 Post Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:17 pm 
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Stop texting essays.

Let's start with that.

Now about your actual text:

You don't have to give her an entire fucking itinerary for the day. In doing so, you sound like a choad who plans everything. Women want surprises, they want things to be "spontaneous". You took all the "surprise" out of it, and you don't sound "spontaneous" when you give her an entire itinerary for the day.

Now, you SHOULD have a plan, but don't tell HER every detail of it! Let her think you're spontaneous when in fact, you have a plan.

Also, you invite her out, then ask her to "screen other girls" and you wonder why she calls you a "player"???? Come on dude!

There's a fine line. Yes, you want a woman to know you have options, and that she's not the only one on the roster, at least at first. But you also don't need to smack her in the face with that!

Keep in mind, that some women you'll just have to invite out time and time again in order to eventually get them to come out. (Notice I did NOT say "ask out". Do NOT "ask out" a woman until you know she likes you.... ie, you've kiss closed, etc.,.. instead, INVITE her out.)

Doc told me a story awhile back about a woman he met while out, and it was over a year later when she finally joined him on an outing. He invited her to join him and others whenever he had something going on, and eventually she came out, and he ended up f-closing her.

One thing she told him was she appreciated the fact that he wasn't like other guys who got pissy when she couldn't come out, and that he was cool for understanding that.

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 Post Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:21 pm 
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Quote:
"be the man, and take the lead." Not quite sure how to go about that, although he suggested something similiar to what you wrote, but he said be non-specific about a day, so she isn't able to say she can't make it on that day.


Take the lead: means HAVE A PLAN. Women HATE when a guy doesn't know what he wants to do. Have a plan, but BE FLEXIBLE as well.

The non-specific thing is good in that you can test and see if she wants to hang with you. But it's bad in that at SOME POINT, you're going to have to give her a day and time.

YOU: "hey, I'm going to XYZ next week, join me, it will be fun!"

Her possible responses:

NONE: She's not interested. Or she's busy, but odds are, if she was interested AND busy, she'd respond.

If she responds with anything, that's an IOI. Even if it's, "I'd love to, but I'm swamped."

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 Post Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:16 pm 
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Points well taken! Yeah, I never give any kind of response to show displeasure, disappointment, or anger if they can't come out, or don't respond. I'm the guy with options, so it's not even a blip on the radar. I don't even acknowledge it.

_________________
InTent "Rock Star"

"You don't get confidence first. First, you do the thing that scares you the most, then you get the confidence (courage)!" (Originator unknown)

Translation to "Game": Approach smoking hot women without hesitation even though you're scared shit less, and eventually through practice and repetition, it will get easier!


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 Post Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:33 pm 
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What you just said is a much better frame to come from. Your text game appears to needy - as the other guys said before.

Its not great to text too much and never text twice in a row.

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 Post Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 4:34 am 
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I recently read Hydro's response to an inquiry about what was wrong with this dude's text game on another board. I decided to follow his suggestion, with this 24 year old bartender I have been doing the texts back and forth for a few months with. I sometimes go a week or so in between texts, and I was not able to get her to hang out with me, before through the text. She would just ignore the invite. I posted on CC before about my texts, and was pretty well charbroiled for them. Comments were: Way too long, too much detail about the plans, not specific enough, you name it! All points well taken!

I decided to use Hydro's suggestion to this other dude, and here's what's happened so far:

My text this morning: ME: "Hey, I got a serious question for you!"

HB: "What's up?

This afternoon: ME: "Ice cream, or frozen yogurt?"

Late afternoon: HB: "Frozen yogurt

Early evening ME: " Good, we're getting frozen yogurt sometime next week!:"
(I had to make it within that time frame, due to low funds!)

Later evening: HB: "Kool"

Hydro knows his shit, that's for sure! I'll be giving her a text with a specific day/time, early next week! Then follow up with a phone call before the outing, to lessen the chance of flaking.

_________________
InTent "Rock Star"

"You don't get confidence first. First, you do the thing that scares you the most, then you get the confidence (courage)!" (Originator unknown)

Translation to "Game": Approach smoking hot women without hesitation even though you're scared shit less, and eventually through practice and repetition, it will get easier!


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