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 Post Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:32 am 
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Instructor for Inner Confidence

Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:24 pm
Posts: 25
One of the biggest reasons why men struggle to date amazing women is that we give our power away. Give our power away… what is that? You give your power away when you don’t stand up for yourself. You give your power away when you don’t listen to your inner voice or gut instincts. You give your power away when you let people walk all over you. You give your power away when you don’t ask for what you want or need. You give your power away when you break your word. You give your power away when you compromise your values. You give your power away when you say sure “I don’t mind just being friends,” to the girl you’ve been crushing on for months. You give your power away when you walk away with your tail between your legs. And most notably, you give your power away when you let fear stop you from going after what is important to you in life.

How you do anything, is how you do everything. If you are giving your power away at work by agreeing to come in on Saturday because your boss asked you to and you are too scared to say no, I guarantee you aren’t getting many dates! How long are you gonna put up with it? You may think that it’s no big deal and it’s easier to not rock the boat, but eventually this behavior is gonna bite you in the ass. You can only give your power away for so long until you snap. When you snap, things get ugly. It gets so ugly for some guys that they go on a killing rampage and shoot up the neighborhood. When the news channels come out to interview the killer’s neighbors, friends and family they all say the same thing. “He was such a nice guy, I don’t know how this happened.” It’s simple, he gave his power away for years and it built up inside like a volcano that was destined to blow!

I talk with a lot of men who are filled with resentment towards women. They are resentful because they feel powerless. But that is a choice. No one can take your power away from you unless you allow them to. If this is hitting home for you, then the good news is that you can change very easily. It starts with awareness and continues with action. If you read my blog often, then this is not a surprise! :)

I stuggled with this for years and it was not until recently that I started to feel like it doesn’t or rarely happens anymore. I was recently on a cruise and had a crazy incident go down with the laundry department. They charged me $149 for a load of laundry and I was outraged. At first I was too nice and asked the customer service department to reverse the charges. I made sure not to hurt anyone’s feelings or make them feel bad or nervous. They wouldn’t budge so I lost it and made a scene. I yelled, pointed fingers and called them horrible names. Finally they budged and gave me half my money back but in hindsight, there would have been a better way to handle it which may have resulted in all of my money back. All I had to do was calmly ask for what I wanted without making them wrong and I would have gotten it. But by being too nice and then being too mean, I only got half.

Last week, a similar thing happened. I learned my lesson from the cruise and calmly requested that the company I was dealing with remedy the unfavorable situation they put me in. They obliged and sent me a check for $300. In the past, I would have been way to scared to make that phone call. I didn’t wanna rock the boat. But when I learned that not rocking the boat was costing me lots of dates and cash, I decided to do something about it.

Where are you giving your power away and what are you gonna do to stop?

Cheers,

_________________
-Robbie

http://www.innerconfidence.com


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 Post Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 12:23 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:14 am
Posts: 28
Location: Burlington, Ontario
How would you recommend not giving your power away to women? How would you react when she says "let's just be friends"?

Great post in relation to many things, but I don't see how to properly apply it to women.

Are you saying be more alpha? Maybe just go a bit more into how this relates to women and how we can keep our power from them.


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 Post Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 3:06 am 
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Instructor for Inner Confidence

Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:24 pm
Posts: 25
alboi wrote:
How would you recommend not giving your power away to women? How would you react when she says "let's just be friends"?

Great post in relation to many things, but I don't see how to properly apply it to women.

Are you saying be more alpha? Maybe just go a bit more into how this relates to women and how we can keep our power from them.


You tell her that you aren't interested in being friends, watch this video for a demonstration:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sCm81nffMk

You give your power away when you hold back from expressing yourself and not being truthful. It has nothing to do with being alpha. It's really simple, most guys just make it hard by trying to use PUA tactics that don't really work.

_________________
-Robbie

http://www.innerconfidence.com


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 Post Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 5:03 am 
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CC Boston Team Lead
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Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:06 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: cold and rainy Boston
Good advice, mang.

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 Post Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 10:22 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:14 am
Posts: 28
Location: Burlington, Ontario
Ok thanks, I definitely get it now.

And thanks for that video link...minus the heinous acting I really enjoyed it and definitely learned from it.


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 Post Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 12:31 pm 
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Instructor for Inner Confidence

Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:24 pm
Posts: 25
alboi wrote:
Ok thanks, I definitely get it now.

And thanks for that video link...minus the heinous acting I really enjoyed it and definitely learned from it.


Heinous acting!?!?! LOL, yeah it was really bad. Glad that helped.

_________________
-Robbie

http://www.innerconfidence.com


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 Post Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:58 pm 
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CCIE Member

Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2009 11:54 pm
Posts: 409
Bump because this is good stuff


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 Post Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 3:19 pm 
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User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 3:46 pm
Posts: 2
Location: New York
Robbie wrote:
One of the biggest reasons why men struggle to date amazing women is that we give our power away. Give our power away… what is that? You give your power away when you don’t stand up for yourself. You give your power away when you don’t listen to your inner voice or gut instincts. You give your power away when you let people walk all over you. You give your power away when you don’t ask for what you want or need. You give your power away when you break your word. You give your power away when you compromise your values. You give your power away when you say sure “I don’t mind just being friends,” to the girl you’ve been crushing on for months. You give your power away when you walk away with your tail between your legs. And most notably, you give your power away when you let fear stop you from going after what is important to you in life.

How you do anything, is how you do everything. If you are giving your power away at work by agreeing to come in on Saturday because your boss asked you to and you are too scared to say no, I guarantee you aren’t getting many dates! How long are you gonna put up with it? You may think that it’s no big deal and it’s easier to not rock the boat, but eventually this behavior is gonna bite you in the ass. You can only give your power away for so long until you snap. When you snap, things get ugly. It gets so ugly for some guys that they go on a killing rampage and shoot up the neighborhood. When the news channels come out to interview the killer’s neighbors, friends and family they all say the same thing. “He was such a nice guy, I don’t know how this happened.” It’s simple, he gave his power away for years and it built up inside like a volcano that was destined to blow!

I talk with a lot of men who are filled with resentment towards women. They are resentful because they feel powerless. But that is a choice. No one can take your power away from you unless you allow them to. If this is hitting home for you, then the good news is that you can change very easily. It starts with awareness and continues with action. If you read my blog often, then this is not a surprise! :)

I stuggled with this for years and it was not until recently that I started to feel like it doesn’t or rarely happens anymore. I was recently on a cruise and had a crazy incident go down with the laundry department. They charged me $149 for a load of laundry and I was outraged. At first I was too nice and asked the customer service department to reverse the charges. I made sure not to hurt anyone’s feelings or make them feel bad or nervous. They wouldn’t budge so I lost it and made a scene. I yelled, pointed fingers and called them horrible names. Finally they budged and gave me half my money back but in hindsight, there would have been a better way to handle it which may have resulted in all of my money back. All I had to do was calmly ask for what I wanted without making them wrong and I would have gotten it. But by being too nice and then being too mean, I only got half.

Last week, a similar thing happened. I learned my lesson from the cruise and calmly requested that the company I was dealing with remedy the unfavorable situation they put me in. They obliged and sent me a check for $300. In the past, I would have been way to scared to make that phone call. I didn’t wanna rock the boat. But when I learned that not rocking the boat was costing me lots of dates and cash, I decided to do something about it.

Where are you giving your power away and what are you gonna do to stop?

Cheers,



i am blown away by this post. superb. :good: :good:


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 Post Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 9:55 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:48 pm
Posts: 5
Great post. This is something mor people need to read. Thanks for sharing.

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 Post Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:18 pm 
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CCIE Member

Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2009 11:54 pm
Posts: 409
I like reading this from time to time,.so another bump....

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