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 Post Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 8:06 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 9:51 am
Posts: 64
Location: Virgin Islands
Hey Guys,

I have this inner issue, I guess an entitlement issue. I'm noticing subconsciously I don't feel I deserve anything good or great. Don't know if this has anything to do with my negative conditioning as a child. Not completely accepted or whatever shit, or always put down.

Examples:

I would be in set and realize I'm doing really well in the beginning, I'll get in my head notice I'm doing well then sabotage myself. Almost be like in my head "Holy shit this is working, not what"

I'd be hanging out with people that I would perceive like the super cool alphas when I was a child. I'll notice myself doing really well and being awesome and cool and I'll suddenly realize holy shit I'm being accepted. I'll then fall in my head and just fuck shit up mentally. I'll loose whatever "social awesomeness" I had.

Sometimes I'll meet these types of "Cool" people or be in a big social group with them and I'll notice that i'm TRYING HARD to fit in.

Most recent one that fucked with me is this. I got my dream job, this type job is fucking hard to get for anyone. And out of all of these positions you can get at most firms, these guys probably have the BEST training. Typically you have to come out of Ivy league schools to get this job, but I got really lucky (no I didn't use any connections). Infact they hired me with me still having 5 more months to graduate. (Non traditional student)

Anyhoo I hear them talking about hiring people. And subconsciously I fear that they will fire me, I'm not good enough. Even though I just passed a serious level 1 charter exam, and I'm doing well and picking up the material. I subconsciously feel I'm not good enough. My confidence is shot and I almost feel I don't deserve it.

Anyone else going through similar internal issues? How did you overcome it?

Thanks in advance for your responses.

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http://www.casanovacrew.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=15842&sid=82341e2d17a582144f20fa155929bd97


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 Post Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 11:45 pm 
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http://www.seductiondatabase.com/sdb/viewforum.php?f=13

you need to register. but what you seek is there

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 Post Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 2:34 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 9:51 am
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Location: Virgin Islands
Will check it out thank you.

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 Post Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 5:40 pm 
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Host of the Decibel Show "n00b"/CCLA Member/CC Best Homegrown Coach 2010
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Most likely a self-esteem thang. For shits n giggles, list out all your positive traits and all your negative traits. You can do it on your own or on this thread, if you want feedback.

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The Chodefest Journals. dB's reports in one spell-binding ebook.

MAN SCHOOL. Let's get this handled.

Coming soon, my directorial debut, Blood Rush.


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 Post Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 10:07 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 9:51 am
Posts: 64
Location: Virgin Islands
Positive Traits:
-Genuine
-Honest
-Reliable
-I believe in my word
-Respectful
-Passionate
-Will be there for you in time of need...even strangers and even sometimes people I'm not fond of
-Charming as hell when it comes out
-Very fond of deep rapport and relationships with people. Depth is important to me.
Intelligent
-When I have an inner drive to accomplish something, it typically happens.
-At times I can be a very social person. Can build rapport with random people I meet in situations. Until I get in my head.
-I am willing to admit when I am wrong
-Open to new ideas and concepts, even if they are out of my reality.
-I am at an ever long journey to improve myself
-It is hard for me to fake liking someone. In fact it is hard for me to lie for the most part.
-I don't end up taking the traditional route in life.
-Being a close friend to me, or chilling with me when we are comfortable is an experience. esp if I am taking the lead of the situation.
-Conasour of finer things in life. Strong bonds with the right people, exquisite women (sexy with a personality), fine whiskey, nice cigars, fine watches (can't afford the ones I like yet), fine cars (afforbility issue) - I guess this breaks down to I prefer quality over quantity. I will sacrifice at times till I can get what I will really enjoy.
-I am very random and spontanious.
-I like to do wierd shit and go to wierd places for the experience. Places normal people won't go. Ethnic bars, middle of the forest, chilling in the hood where I stand out like a sore thumb etc.
-I can be a good leader at times.
-I have a leader/alpha personality when there is no competition. Unless I am comfortable with the other alpha.

Negative traits:
-Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (fucking hate taking meds but I realize I need em at this point in life)
-I occasionally smoke weed even though I know it fucks with my head esp for 3-4 days after.
-I get very obsessive at times.
-I am in my head a lot.
-I get paranoid in certain social situations.
-Sometimes my greatest motivation comes with an outside deadline. It is hard to motivate myself at times.
-When I am introduced to people, I feel pressured I have to make a good impression and I fuck up.
-When I meet people I percieve of value, I try too hard to be accepted.
-In fact I am insecure of being accepted because of not being accepted as a chilld.
-When I am being accepted in CERTAIN social situations and I feel a small hiccup in the interaction I get paranoid, needy reaction seeking, and constantly paranoid while running through my head of how I fucked shit up.
-I don't have faith in my abilities against most people. I can't keep up with any alphas in a situation. Where I'm the only alpha in the situation I am fine. Or I don't believe I can perform better than other people that I don't know.
-When approaching girls, this also happens in certain social interactions but alot of time with girls, I will come in all money in the beginning and after a while my inner weak centred self starts to come out and show. I loose the amazing momentum I built in the beginning, and contradict the amazing money person I portrayed. I can only keep this personality with people I am comfortable with.
-I am scared of confrontation. I trained a little martial arts, got busy but I need to go back. Any sign of an agressive situation I back off completely. Even with AMOGS and shit.
-I am reaction seeking and acceptance of others dictates my hapiness. I know this is wrong but I am having trouble fixing this.
-Subconsciously I don't feel like I am entitled to good things.
-A lot of people really like me and that is hard to internalize. So when someone doesn't like me it really affects me

This is something that is REALLY FUCKING WITH ME:
Out of nowhere I'm feeling insecure about losing my new job. It's a long explanation which is difficult to verbalize. I just passed a hard exam for work, costed them $800 for me to take. Master 2,000 pages of technical shit in one month, while having finals for school. For the most part I am going to be training for about 1 year so I am hardly of benefit to them. I just need to show them I am reading and progressing in learning the material. Training to be a trader on the stock market. I feel like the week after passing the test, they might have felt I was slacking slightly because right after work I had to leave to take care of my issues before graduation. Came back the next week (this week) and a mix of not being in close with the guys at work and my great ability to be paranoid. Even though I am picking up the material. I am worried that this bullshit that they are not happy with me and this will be a self fulfilling prophecy and it will just fuck me up. I have a really good job and now my head is finding excuses to fuck it up. I am judging every little reaction like, when they are talking to the group are they also giving me eye contact. Or are they saying good bye to me when they are leaving. It's stupid shit that's fucking with me. I know my job is there to learn how to make money on the market and not to make friends. These guys are like the super cool alpha guys that never accepted me in school. I know it's fucked but I don't know how to fix this. And yes I am in my depressed stage of my Bipolar disorder which doesn't help. But this doesn't fundamental change my situation with being close with the co-workers. This is part of the depression. It is a small office so everyone else is really tight. I am kinda cool with a few, and I came off as try hard to be accepted in the beginning.

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My FR's - Feedback is always appreciated.

http://www.casanovacrew.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=15842&sid=82341e2d17a582144f20fa155929bd97


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 Post Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 11:01 am 
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Host of the Decibel Show "n00b"/CCLA Member/CC Best Homegrown Coach 2010
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If I were you I'd focus on putting myself in awkward, embarrassing and potentially humiliating situations. Blow yourself out BIG. Over and over again. There are some decent programs out there that progressively desensitize you until you stop giving a fuck, like randomly dancing in a large group of people and asking strange questions.

Right now your ego is terrified of failure so you need to pound the crap out of it til it shuts up. Also have a look at Power of Now. Get back into martial arts and consider yoga. You need to work on becoming body aware and getting into the moment.

_________________
Street Kings, Gigsaw vs Doc:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApU-pHp0_Ug

The Chodefest Journals. dB's reports in one spell-binding ebook.

MAN SCHOOL. Let's get this handled.

Coming soon, my directorial debut, Blood Rush.


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 Post Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 9:39 am 
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Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 9:51 am
Posts: 64
Location: Virgin Islands
Thanks for the advice man. This sounds difficult to do almost more AA than my first time approaching. But I'm going to make this happen.

_________________
My FR's - Feedback is always appreciated.

http://www.casanovacrew.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=15842&sid=82341e2d17a582144f20fa155929bd97


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 Post Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:15 pm 
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Host of the Decibel Show "n00b"/CCLA Member/CC Best Homegrown Coach 2010
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Location: SFV
Yes it's hard work but on the plus side once you do it, your life is forever changed and you don't have to worry about this shit again.

Best example I can give you is my old wing c-dub. He was like you and then made it his mission to conquer the fear. He kept a blog for a while

http://www.beuncomfortable.com/

Last time we hung out we saw a fight erupt outside a bar so he casually strolled between the two gents smiling as if nothing was happening. He then went off to live with Adam Lyons and last I saw him he was on that ktla episode with Johnny wolf.

By pushing himself into all sorts of emotionally painful situations he learned to live without fear of judgment or rejection.

_________________
Street Kings, Gigsaw vs Doc:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApU-pHp0_Ug

The Chodefest Journals. dB's reports in one spell-binding ebook.

MAN SCHOOL. Let's get this handled.

Coming soon, my directorial debut, Blood Rush.


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 Post Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 2:04 pm 
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I had the same problem for a long time, but I found a fun (and genuine) way of breaking that AA and putting my ego to rest. I call it the Nuclear Bomb Blowout opener.

Walk up to a group, preferably the hottest group of people in the area. Mixed sets work just fine, but all girl sets work the best. Walk straight up, right into the set, and say something like this:

You: Hey, I need a favor from you ladies/guys/whatever: I need you to reject me in a very BIG way, like I wanna go cry in the corner way.

Sometimes you just get the "cold shoulder" rejection, but usually they ask why:

You: If you make it a big enough rejection, I might just tell you...

This line is what gives the girls something to work for, aka time investment. From here, they should start giving you pretty lame rejections. Each time, say something to tease them, like "Is that the best you can do?" or "I've seen better... hit me with your best shot." Once they have a good one, hopefully one that actually dings your ego (not confidence) politely thank them and turn as if you are gonna leave. They almost always ask why you wanted them to rejeect you before you can leave, so answer with a story kinda like this one:

You: My buddy (insert random friend name here) just got rejected by this girl he was absolutely head-over heels for, and I wanna know how it feels. I guess she was a little more mean-spirited, cause no matter how hard you guys tried, I'm not nearly as hurt as he is...

Where you go from here is up to you. I have used this in the past with decent success in getting numbers, a few kiss closes, and one day 2 full close. At first, I'd recommend just letting what they say feed the conversation, but what you do is completely up to you. Good luck, and keep at it. The community has completely changed my life and my outlook on dating.

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 Post Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 4:02 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 9:51 am
Posts: 64
Location: Virgin Islands
Thank you guys I really appreciate the advice. The only thing that is going to make this a bit difficult is that there are very few sets when I go out and everyone knows everyone. And I see the same people out a lot. I mean this will label me as the weird creepy guy on the island. Or should I not care about my "reputation?"

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http://www.casanovacrew.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=15842&sid=82341e2d17a582144f20fa155929bd97


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