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 Post Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 1:45 pm 
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I'm pretty certain I'm a decent looking guy. I'm also certain I'm mildly intelligent. My ability to speak and to articulate and express myself should be relatively proficient. Yet I'm confounded over and over again by my lack of confidence. I understand the concept of believing in oneself, and the inherent importance of confidence. But I find my own mind clouded with self-defeating thoughts, which indirectly spurs self-defeating actions. On a logical level, I understand that I should not do this. Yet it's like an unstoppable tumor that refuses to be removed. It dampens my sets, and erodes my will and perseverance. This bothers me to no end.

As this mild problem will bug the shit out of me in normal as life as well, I need to figure out how to contain or solve it. So, to the rest of Casanova Crew... any books or material you guys want to recommend?

_________________
"It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our plan."
-BANE


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 Post Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 3:37 pm 
 
learning to pick up girls from the internet is like....learning to pick up girls from the internet. The way you get more confident talking to girls is by talking to girls. Book learning can be helpful in supplementing what you know and to recognize bad patterns you are doing in-field. That's it. There's only so much you can glean from books. It's the experience you need.

Go out, get good results and confidence will flow from it. Just accept that you may have periods of self-doubt right now and that when you get better, the self-doubt will slowly diminish over time. there's a lot of free inner game stuff at RSD forums.


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 Post Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:43 pm 
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steroids and read the "art of seduction"


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 Post Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:56 pm 
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I'm reading Art of Seduction, I'm also on the field about three times a week. It's not working correctly goddamn it >.<!

_________________
"It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our plan."
-BANE


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 Post Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:28 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2011 1:50 am
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My confidence died off recently too. I blame it mostly on this girl I wanted to be with but was always shot down by. She likes me but not enough to be my girlfriend. I have this negative loop in my mind that tells me if I wasn't good enough for her (she isn't all that, but to me she'd be perfect) then what chance do I have with someone better. I know this is horrible but it's the way it is. I'm sure I'll grow out of the phase.

Also I haven't given up on myself. I workout daily and find that I'm way more comfortable when I'm fit rather than out of shape, which is obvious but if I'm ever gonna be happy again I'll have my outer appearance to thank. Shallow.


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 Post Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 12:17 am 
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Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:54 pm
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bro you need to just fucking man up and take this world by its balls. i'm natural very confident but something that keeps it strong is i don't take shit from anyone. life is a battle and i fucking win every battle i go up against. its the hungry that keeps me going. i always want more and i'm driven by that. your goal should be to have the best of everything. i been taking boxing classes for 5 years and it might help your confidence to. the fact that i know i can kick any ones ass takes my confidence from 130% to 180%


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 Post Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 11:59 pm 
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Quote:
life is a battle and i fucking win every battle i go up against


That sentiment, I actually agree with.

_________________
"It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our plan."
-BANE


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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 3:14 pm 
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I could have sworn that Decibel had posted something here, but it seems to be gone. And I was going to respond too, ah well.

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"It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our plan."
-BANE


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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 10:53 pm 
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Host of the Decibel Show "n00b"/CCLA Member/CC Best Homegrown Coach 2010
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I did. Maybe I'm banned or some such shit.

Bullet points if I remember right:

1. What are you confident and not confident about?
2. Competence vs confidence.
3. Boldness as a crutch.
4. Did someone lower your feeling of self-worth?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApU-pHp0_Ug

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MAN SCHOOL. Let's get this handled.

Coming soon, my directorial debut, Blood Rush.


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 Post Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:41 am 
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1. I have situational confidence. If I’m in a university lecture hall, in anything remotely dealing with a type of humanities subject, I am certain of myself. When I’m dressed well, and have something to prove, I feel unstoppable. But when I’m dealing with people who excel in a difference subject from me, I feel lack. When I interact with people who have better paying jobs, I somehow feel incompetent and that somehow I might not be good enough.
2. I understand that competence is the ability to be effective at a task or skill, but without the confidence required, the ability to obtain that level of competency becomes marred through self-defeating thoughts and action.
3. I’m not sure if my boldness is a crutch, as I firmly believe that initiative stems from boldness, and it is a necessary trait for those that wish to be successful in life. (Fortune favors the bold, etc.)
4. Of course, where should I start? As a kid I grew up in quite a racist environment, I was one of the few Asian kids at my school, and was picked on a lot, and made to feel not just different, but racially inferior on some level. When I moved schools, I had to compete with wealthier and better adjusted Asian students, whom I could not properly compete with, as I transferred from a high school with a 30% drop out rate. I had to get to the top 25% of my school in order to get into advanced placement classes, due to a misreading of the no-child-left-behind act by my school staff, and I had never caught up in math in comparison to all of my other Asian classmates. My father thought I was a complete failure up until high school, and when I tried to live up to his expectations, I simply could not catch up to everyone else. Despite attending one of the University of California’s and graduating with two majors, on the graduation day, my father told me that he was disappointed that I went a low-tier school.

Oh, and did I mention that some girl called me ugly as a kid, and I’ve been obsessed with my looks ever since then? I get depressed because I don’t think my eyebrows are perfectly symmetrical.

With all of that said, I know, don’t be a pussy, man up to the fight of life, press on, and all of that good shit. I try my best to leave the past behind, and push forward. A moment waited fighting the wars of yesterday are wasted, as I have other issues to deal with in the present. I know a lot of what I faced in the past is sheer confidence, and is a bad case of fate. Despite that, I most improvise with regards to my limitations, adapt to the current situation, and overcome whatever obstacles that is in my way.

I know, I feel it, but sometimes, I falter.

_________________
"It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our plan."
-BANE


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