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 Post Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 11:33 am 
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Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 8:20 pm
Posts: 19
Hey guys, my online game far from tight. Can someone WITH GOOD ONLINE GAME critique this exchange I had on OkCupid with a girl?

She's a total hottie. She looks like a young Dolly Parton. My take is I started with the wrong foot but I got her attention. Then I did good but I think I messed up at the end. There are dates/times so you have an idea of the time frame between exchanges. I usually give it at least as much time as she took to get back to me as to not appear needy.

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Me: May 15, 2013 – 12:30am

You sure are full of yourself missy. I seriously doubt you could steal any room with me in it. Unless all the attention is on you because you burped. In which case I'll just pretend I don't know you lol.

You seem like the fun type. Let me guess, most of your friends are gay, correct?

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Her: May 15, 2013 – 1:07am

i dont understand. are you confusing my confidence with being conceded? or are you being a dick.

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Me: May 15, 2013 – 10:24pm

That is EXACTLY the problem with this online thing. Nobody gets my humor.

I am not a dick. Unless you count a couple of rape attempts or chopping a girl into small pieces. But that's like the worst it can happen, I swear.

So they often confuse you with Marilyn? You look more like a young Dolly Parton to me.

You should be thankful though. They often tell me that I look like a drug dealer. I have no clue why. What do you think?

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Her: May 16, 2013 – 1:19am

haha. i donno.
advice, online or in person, ladies do not like you to joke that they fart or burp as a means to make them seem less beautiful.
but yes. i get the hard communication online. i dont think the weirdos get my humor either.
i do take that as a compliment! she's beautiful too! i do like having the marilyn look, i just get annoyed that it gets pointed out so much, no shit dude.... but i am more close to her measurements and the same height, nothing compared to the lovely dolly!
im not in the most playful mood. i just saw gatsby, and all i want to do is listen to lana and lay around. haha. maybe laying around being sad in a bunch of glitter and champagne.
good night creepy drug dealer.

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Me: May 16, 2013 – 11:45pm

The great Gatsby was seriously amazing. I really appreciated all the beautiful shots. And when Lana started singing... man, I was in seventh heaven. Did you watch it in 3D?

One thing I couldn't get though is why Gatsby was so obsessed with Daisy. Even if she's like the Michael Jordan of fellatio, when you get 500 gorgeous girls at your place partying and getting wasted every night you'd be like "Daisy who??".

Speaking of partying, last week I got an invite to a Gatsby-like party in Beverly Hills. It was full of high class people. And yes, you guessed right. Most boring party EVER.

I should have brought someone fun with me to dance like crazy and laugh at all the posers. I wonder if you'd be up to the challenge..

Aight, gotta go Dolly. Long day tomorrow. Nice not-talking to you.

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Her: May 19, 2013 – 9:58pm

i did see it in 3D. really cool.
well he loved her, and she loved him back when he was a nobody, and she was the only reason he did any of those crazy parties.
man. i had a great day. but im so tired from being in the sun all day. the beach was so great today.

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Me: May 22, 2013 – 1:45am

Man, your life sounds so depressing. Frolicking under the sun all day, drinking margaritas. If that were to ever happen to me please kill me, I wouldn't want to live.

I just got a bunch of modern furniture. It looks great but totally sucks in terms of comfort. They say fashion hurts, so I guess I did the right thing, right?

Damn, I've been trying to create my portfolio's logo for 2 hours now and I'm failing miserably. Maybe I need some weed.

Do you have any artistic talents to confess?


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Her: May 25, 2013 – 11:43pm

your portfolio for what? what do you do?
yes, i like to paint and draw and things like that.
you have plans for your weekend here?

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Me: May 26, 2013 – 10:01pm

I am a famous pornstar. I thought you recognized me by now.

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Me: May 26, 2013 – 10:02pm

It's cool that you paint. Maybe you could design my website. What's your favourite subject?

I have a couple of events this weekend in Hollywood. The rest of the weekend looks pretty chill for the most part. Kick back by the pool, drink wine, etc.

btw I'm actually a photographer. Porn is just my plan B.

How's your weekend going so far?

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Her: May 27, 2013 – 1:37am

your funny.

(4 minutes later)

my weekend is great. just having a mellow one. gonna try to hit the beach tomorrow. get some sun and some drinks. should be rad if the wind isnt crazy like today.
website? no no im not good at that kinda stuff. i like to be weird and break the rules. computer stuff is not my thing. but im a real good critic! i'm good at what looks good or bad.

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Me: May 28, 2013 – 11:15pm

You're a total beach addict. I used to be like that back when I surfed in South America. But the Pacific is waaay too cold for me.

So what if instead of bragging about being a good critic you actually reviewed some of my work?

On one condition though. I want honest opinions, no bullshit polite compliments. I'm a big boy, I won't cry I promise.

Plus I have a feeling you may have an eye for artistic stuff.

Pass me an email whenever you're ready. I'll share some of my work with you.
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 Post Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 11:36 am 
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Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 8:20 pm
Posts: 19
She has not replied ever since my last message. Honestly my online game sucks so if someone with tight online game could point out mistakes, etc I'd really appreciate it.


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