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Should I talk to her about $ again? or kissing? or both?
1. Yes talk to her about $ more 15%  15%  [ 2 ]
2. Talk to her about kissing 23%  23%  [ 3 ]
3. Talk to her about both 15%  15%  [ 2 ]
4. Don't bring up either 23%  23%  [ 3 ]
5. Wait until it comes up to talk about it 23%  23%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 13
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 Post Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 6:18 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2009 5:41 pm
Posts: 13
Not really sure if this is the wrong section for this entry...or if this whole site is not the right place for it...but here it goes anyway. Feel free to let me know your opinion of a different section of the site I should post this...or if I just shouldn't at all.

So I was curious to get some advice on a few topics. Here's the situation.

So I've had 2 dates with this girl. They went pretty good. The first date we went to a a wine place and then coffee. She paid at the wine place since I don't drink, and we just shared a salad. Then we went to the coffee shop, I bought a couple deserts. She suggested we go back to my place nearby. We went there and watched movies, I put my arm around her on the couch. I didn't make a move further maybe partially out of fear, but mostly I wanted to make sure this was someone I wanted to see again before I kissed her. This is something I wanted to decide in between dates. As I brought her to her car, she kissed me on the cheek as I kind of purposely turned my cheek. I'm not sure if she wanted me to kiss her good night or not.

Date 2 we went to this comedy show (which was free), I had my arm around her. We stopped and got a coffee and desert, which I paid for. Went back to my place again to watch movie. We were talking about camping and she said something like "If I was out there with you I'd snuggle with you." I then went to kiss her but she didn't give me any tongue. I was a little confused but thought 'oh well. no rush.' I'm not out to just bang this girl, I am trying to find a relationship, not one night stands. I hugged her goodbye that night with a little "muah" on the lips.

So a week or so later, I was on the phone with her and I said:
"So something else I wanted to talk to you about...I'd like it if we just paid for ourselves from now on."
Her: "Well...okay...I understand your financial situation...but just so you know...If a guy invites me to dinner, then I'm NOT paying for myself." (she said this with a 'you better RECOGNIZE" kind of tone)
Me "....(no response)"
Her: "Okay?"
Me "Okay..."
Her: "Okay well I'll talk to you soon okay?"
Me: "Okay...see you."

Awkward. So I thought about a better way to say this, and I thought of this:

(The following is my idea, not communicated yet.)
"I believe that paying for a girl is something you do once you're in a relationship. When I'm first getting to know someone and finding out whether we are a match, I don't think money should be involved. I don't think it's some kind of a gauge to show how much of a gentleman a guy is or isn't. I think that's kind of old fashioned and fake. I might pay on the first or second date just because it's a tradition or whatever, but after that I think it's not appropriate until I'm in relationship with them. I don' think I'm cheap and it's not about you at all and not that I can't afford it."

I don't want her to think it's because I'm broke or cheap. I believe this because it's from the "No More Mr. Nice Guy" book I read. It believes paying for a girl is supplicating...which I believe too pretty much now. But most average guys and girls still seem to be mentally locked into the idea the guys pays.

Not sure if I should say more like:
"It's kind of a weird tradition. Like what is the guy really paying for? "

I'm wondering if she'd find that offensive or not.

So, my question to you all is:
1. Should I talk to her about the money thing again? Possibly further explain myself? Or should I just drop it and move on?
2. Should I talk to her about the kiss thing? Or just keep going with this and see what happens. She obviously is still interested because she is still responding to me and insisted on watching a movie at my place this weekend. I don't really care how slow we go intimacy wise, I just am wondering if I should talk about it with her or not.

Hef_San_Diego has spoken.

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 Post Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:19 am 
December 2008 Casanova Crew MVP/CC Original Member
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Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:45 pm
Posts: 803
Location: City Of Angels
Too many times I see guys over analyzing the money thing. If you're going to do a traditional date, do the traditional thing and pay. If you don't like spending money, come up with more creative dates that are free.

I'm sorry, but a lot of books are written by losers who don't actually get laid, and they spout off bullshit like paying is supplication. Buying a girl a drink at the bar you haven't met just for the opportunity to talk to her is supplication. Taking that hot girl who never responds to your text to the academy awards is supplication. Paying for a date is not supplication, its what people do.

Also, there's no way bring up "going dutch" without sounding cheap. It even sounds cheap to me.

Finally, fuck the girl, then decide if you want to see her again. She came to your house twice for god's sake!!! While you're dilly dallying around trying to decide if you "like" her, some guy with balls is gonna swoop in and stick his dick in her mouth. Just sayin.

Who cares if some girl I will never see again thinks I am a loser - Doc

You're only one set away from another beautiful adventure - charms

I probably won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister - Hank Moody

Let me pimp or let me die -Pimpin' Snooky

I'm not wasting a few hours on a girl who doesn't know how to talk, laugh, and fuck. -Brad P

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