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 Post Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:55 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 26, 2008 1:47 pm
Posts: 263
Location: LA
My opinion.

Go with your gut.

Shes in vagas. if my chick would go with out me i would asume that she at lest made out with some one. or somthing like that.

Its a shitty way of thinking...but my experience so far makes me think that.

if her friends likes the dudes...if she is not the lead style girl... she probably was into them as well.

if u ever have done group game like that if a couple of the girls r into you all the girls r into you...some more some less.
The part where she said those guys were weird Means...
A. she was being gamed but didnt want to admit it.
B. if she said it with a real feeling of "wow those dudes where weird" i would except that.
C. shes saying it so you dont get jelious that she liked being hit on by the other dudes.


When trying to judge if your chick is telling the true. Think to your self....

-How slutty is your girl?... is really into having sex or sexual kinda person.
-How Slutty r her friends?
-In your aunest opinion how hot is she? (oviously shes hot to you, but what is her universal hottness.) Kinda determines how hard dudes will hit on her. If shes a turbo hottie dudes will pepper that shit until she gives in or not.
-How morally sound is the girl?


As far as her not caring at all about u going to a strip club.....
I think that kinda shows she might see you as just the safe kinda guy, maybe she dosnt believe you could make any thing happen in that situation.

In my experience girls that ive dated, no matter how much they say they rnt botherd by me going to strip clubs they really r.... and its because they know if i go to a strip club the girls will actually stop and talk to us n try to hang out with us again....


While she was out there she called you alot... if there was any point where she all the sudden just stoped for a long time then started talking with u again i would be slightly concerned (im not talking about she was at a bar or somthing. and just couldnt answer... theres a big difference.)

It just comes down to if deep down you believe her....
And if you dont what r you going to do about it....

-MP


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 Post Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:34 pm 
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Host of the Decibel Show "n00b"/CCLA Member/CC Best Homegrown Coach 2010
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Joined: Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:57 pm
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I'm polygamous for a reason. I got tired of worrying about these things. I had a girl I thought I was monogamous with sleep with another dude on one of my birthdays when we were supposed to hang out. So yeah, monogamy can have a downside.

Your choices are simple:
a) Be polygamous and not care who fucks whom. Jealousy is not easy to get rid of, but at this point, I really don't care if any of the girls I'm with is sleeping around.
b) Be monogamous and assume she isn't sleeping around...and actually BELIEVE it such that you put any other notions out of your head until confronted with evidence to the contrary. This takes a lot of will power, but it's how I lived my life before the community. Maybe ignorance is bliss.
c) Be monogamous and accept that sometimes people slip up and sleep around, and there's nothing much you can do about it. If you really love her, you'll overlook indiscretions, but assume whenever she's not with you she's with another guy. I don't like this choice so I never accepted it, but I know people who are in unilaterally open LTRs. So it does work for some.

But where you're at isn't really an option. Be monogamous but constantly fret that she's being unfaithful, with no objective evidence of such. You're gonna give yourself an ulcer. Plus she could rightly accuse you of being unfaithful because you had women all over you; giving them money for that honor doesn't make it any less so. You are resisting the reality of the situation and trying to redefine the rules and boundaries of the LTR without her consent. Stop it.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:44 pm 
 
Your feelings are understandable and real. But you know better than all of us how solid your relationship is with this girl. You gotta learn how to just trust her, If she hasn't really fucked up on you. You gotta know that you can't live life with a woman with the assumption that she is guilty all the time, when in fact she hasn't done anything you should be concerned about. Now if she has demonstrated in the past some sort of issues where you are unable to trust her, then you have those issues to deal with, but if not, then acknowledge your feelings but try to see what is needed. I realize you are doing that now, which is why you ask. Good preemptive work.

It is great that you are trying to figure out what is healthy behavior and what is not. More of us need to find a strong ground to base our responses in a relationship, like you are continually doing. But one symptom of a healthy relationship is trust. If you don't have that, you are setting your relationship up for some strain, sooner or later. Trust issues is an indicator of inner game that we all struggle with.

Try to get the abundance mind frame that she would not cheat on you, if she did, she is unworthy of you to begin with. Better you learn that now. Your non reactiveness as you state is also a positive because it shows her that, jealousy is a not a button to press with you and will not encourage it.

In the end however, If it is bothering you, tell her what you just told us. But don't be too reactive or accusatory "You know it is not right to be concerned, as you trust her 100% but there is a little bit of unfounded jealousy in you." If you have this discussion without an accusatory tone, she may open up and you may learn lots. Communication without judgment is key in a relationship. Good luck.


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 Post Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:45 pm 
 
And yeah, what dB said!


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 Post Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:00 am 
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Dude... stop being a creep.

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 Post Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:14 am 
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Teddy, I'm trying to help here:

A true alpha male feels a strong sense of abundance mentality whether he's in a relationship or not.

Unfortunately, this is the AFC in you crying for help.

If you let her know shit like this bothers you on a consistent basis, I can wager with confidence that she'll ultimately leave you. Jealously is an extremely unattractive quality.

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"Foolish and wretched is the man who builds his happiness on the frail and unstable affection of a woman."
~Leland


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 Post Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:20 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 10:32 am
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Location: Los Angeles
As an addendum:

Girls cheat in Vegas. A lot.

I know because I once fucked a chick i met in the Mirage who was in a relationship with a dude back in San Diego. I tried to get her to hang out with me after the trip assuming she was single, but when the euphoria of our tryst wore off, she admitted to me that she was in a relationship and went back to the dude.

Decibel is on the money, as usual.

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"Foolish and wretched is the man who builds his happiness on the frail and unstable affection of a woman."
~Leland


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 Post Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 7:57 am 
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Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:40 am
Posts: 92
Location: Inland Empire, CA
The easiest way to push that bullshit out of Your head is to adapt this mind frame...
What you don't know wont hurt you. (Share this belief with her bit also believe it yourself) she's an attractive women that has game herself. But she's only doing it for materialistic purpose and she comes home to the emotional connection she has with you. Women are materialistic creatures, point blank. Respect that she can manipulate just as well as you can but will always be with you when the dust settles.

If you can wrap your head around the fact that motive then when you and her go out to a bar you can turn it into a fun and exciting role play where you see who can get the most attention that night or who can game a free drink first. This keeps the relationship fresh because you don't have to sacrifice social interaction to be with her and you know when last call hits you don't have to take the leftovers because your already going home with her. And you didn't have to come out of pocket to get it.

That's the great thing of being in a trusting relationship is the both of you can have a good time flirting bit ultimately you know its just fun and you get the pot of good at the end of the night.

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After you make yourself look like a jackass, I'm going to take your girlfriend.(King Grant)

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We can find every excuse not to do something. The trick is finding the only reason do it. BECAUSE WE CAN!!!(King Grant)


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