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 Post Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:17 pm 
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AA's an interesting topic - However, I think Mystery makes too much of the caveman analogy, if I remember correctly. Sure, there's the pack mentality and the natural submission to the alpha male and tribal leader to avoid getting your face smashed... but this is the nature vs. nurture argument, and I think we can all agree that it's possible to adjust your behaviors with enough reinforcement of the right habits. Skip the next paragraph(essay) if you don't want the psychology and just want the conclusion.

I think the theory should go more along the lines of another aspect of pack mentality, which is that people instinctively want to be a part of the best group they can be a part of. Just remember back to the first days of school and camp or whatever - people gravitate to their cliques and the average person stays there. From there on, some people who lean more towards having control will join and lead weaker groups while others with weak confidence will join groups outside their range and hike up their class by the intrinsic social proof of association. Given this thought process, it's obvious that people instinctively fear rejection. I think that this is the key point, because it feeds upon and reinforces itself over time : people who get rejected early on (not just by girls, but by anybody that they want approval from - parents, friends, cool kids, 7-11 guy) either plow through it early or end up in a recurring cycle. Everyone tries to overcome it, but I believe that early success dictates future success and early failure breeds more failure. Frankly, I'd be amazed if this model didn't fit every single person who has trouble with AA, because the same kind of people need to learn game because it's the kind of people who instinctively want to be something other than they've learned to be. Nature vs. Nurture.

This is fundamental behavioral psychology - check out Skinner's stuff: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement - really, people are just like any other animal and can be trained. You give your dog a treat for doing a trick right, lock them in the basement for pissing on your pillow. People just have more complicated thought processes that need to be accounted for.

As for beating A.A. - this is something I've been working on for a long time. Anyone from CC who's met me knows my reluctance to take anything less than a perfect shot. I've dated 10s and 9s — and so far I've always stuck to my standards of having zero questionable hookups. That's extremely limiting to me, but I've slowly been training myself to realize the following about myself to deal with my AA; see if any of this helps you out:

1. I don't have to try to fuck every girl I meet
2. Meeting people should be fun.
3. Most girls have friends; maybe I can try to fuck them
4. Girls you couldn't care less about is a less painful way to warm up.
5. Dress for success. Feeling like you're looking good goes a long way towards beating AA. I don't necessarily mean peacocking like crazy; I just mean wear something comfortable that you look good in.
6. Confident body language leads to real confidence. I've been focusing a LOT on maintaining good posture, eye contact, and easy smiles due to some constructive criticism I had recently. This is the area that I require the most vigilant self-discipline in, because it's always the first thing to go and is a seed for failure.
7. Above all, remind yourself: I am the fucking man. I am better than every other guy in this place, and every girl in the world should want to fuck me. I should be completely indifferent to another guy's presence, and a beautiful girl's presence should be standard for me, not the exception.


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 Post Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:40 am 
 
I hit the metro everday right, there is sometimes super cutes. Approach? or Chode-a-load? I wanna Puck and maybe i'll keep them around. Any questions?


Last edited by Whisper on Tue Dec 15, 2009 2:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:35 pm 
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Nope, that pretty much answers it all.

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 Post Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 4:56 pm 
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reflects wrote:
As for beating A.A. - this is something I've been working on for a long time. Anyone from CC who's met me knows my reluctance to take anything less than a perfect shot. I've dated 10s and 9s — and so far I've always stuck to my standards of having zero questionable hookups. That's extremely limiting to me, but I've slowly been training myself to realize the following about myself to deal with my AA; see if any of this helps you out:

1. I don't have to try to fuck every girl I meet
2. Meeting people should be fun.
3. Most girls have friends; maybe I can try to fuck them
4. Girls you couldn't care less about is a less painful way to warm up.
5. Dress for success. Feeling like you're looking good goes a long way towards beating AA. I don't necessarily mean peacocking like crazy; I just mean wear something comfortable that you look good in.
6. Confident body language leads to real confidence. I've been focusing a LOT on maintaining good posture, eye contact, and easy smiles due to some constructive criticism I had recently. This is the area that I require the most vigilant self-discipline in, because it's always the first thing to go and is a seed for failure.
7. Above all, remind yourself: I am the fucking man. I am better than every other guy in this place, and every girl in the world should want to fuck me. I should be completely indifferent to another guy's presence, and a beautiful girl's presence should be standard for me, not the exception.


Awesome list here ... definitely some of the things I tell myself. I would add to this ...
8. Nobody gives a shit if you fail. It's egotistical to think that anyone other than you is going to remember what happened if you get blown out. They likely won't remember a couple hours later, let alone a couple weeks from now. If you do happen to fail spectacularly and memorably, well ... now you have an amusing anecdote to share with friends.


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 Post Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 7:05 pm 
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Bumping this cuz guys have been talking about AA. Read the OP before negrodamus hijacked the thread and made an ass of himself.

_________________
Street Kings, Gigsaw vs Doc:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApU-pHp0_Ug

The Chodefest Journals. dB's reports in one spell-binding ebook.

MAN SCHOOL. Let's get this handled.

Coming soon, my directorial debut, Blood Rush.


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 Post Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:14 pm 
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I've never been known to not demo, but to be clear what I'm talking about here is approaching not hitting on girls. I knew a master of creative avoidance who wouldn't even socialize because he was in a LTR. Lame.

_________________
Street Kings, Gigsaw vs Doc:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApU-pHp0_Ug

The Chodefest Journals. dB's reports in one spell-binding ebook.

MAN SCHOOL. Let's get this handled.

Coming soon, my directorial debut, Blood Rush.


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 Post Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 10:17 am 
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Very nice post guys, enjoy reading and learning here :)


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 Post Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:47 am 
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To me AA is a combination of fear of rejection and stage freight. The #1 fear American's have isn't of dying, it's of giving a speech in public. Well, guess what you're doing when you're doing cold approach? That's right, it's public speaking, just with highly focused subject matter towards a given audience, in this case it's women you find attractive.

So how do we go about mitigating AA? First, you've got to approach over and over. The more you do it the more acclimated you'll become to the nervous feelings associated with the stage freight aspect. Second, you'll need some positive reinforcement to build up your confidence. This is where structured approach comes into play. With a well structured approach you can up your odds of having positive outcomes which in turn builds confidence over the long run.

Anyway, over time once you have your confidence and are somewhat acclimated to the nervous energy that comes with approaching strangers, you can take off the training wheels and see how things go naturally. Once you've accomplished this self-improvement it's not uncommon to find things that didn't work in the past to actually go in your favor now. That's the difference having confidence in your own ability and being comfortable in your own skin can make.


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 Post Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 11:56 am 
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i overcame approach anxiety by saying "hey how are you doing" to every female i passed. i guess it's good to say it to everyone but i don't give a damn about men. i still do this and do more serious approaches on girls that turn me on.


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 Post Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 6:25 pm 
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If anyone has approach anxiety and wants help with it free of charge in exchange for being filmed doing inner game exercises and approaching women in the field contact me by private message ASAP. This will only be offered for a limited time.

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