The number one complaint I hear from my students is, “I don’t know what to say.” This statement to me sounds like a cricket singing its song, or a mouse fart. I don’t think I’ve ever had a student in four years that didn’t know what to say.
You’re not alone. You’re not unique. Your problems aren’t different and you’re not special.
And that’s a good thing! Because it means you can learn verbal game, just like the rest of us.
The days of routines are behind us. In the old days, puas memorized long lists of memorized comedy strips. The routines seemed to work because they were designed to push emotional buttons, eliciting reactions from the women. The problem was, it turned men into social robots. It didn’t really teach men how to improvise, just to parrot. When the routines ended, so did the game.
So how do you improve your verbal game? That’s easy. You practice.
Most of my clients come from computer based work. They are programmers, technicians and so forth. They spend most of their day’s in-front of a screen, and not interacting with other humans, especially not women. Building your verbal game skills is the same as building muscles—after all, your brain is a muscle (I’m not an expert in biology, but work with me.)
For my verbally stunted students, I give the same advice.
1. Stay in the interaction for two minutes. Do not eject from your set because you can’t think of what to say next. That’s like me putting down the pen and playing Battlefield because I can’t think of what to write next. Instead of running away, stay with the interaction, no matter how uncomfortable, and keep talking. I don’t care if you talk about the weather, or your favourite colour. All that matters is you work that muscle for a minimum of two minutes. Even if she back turns you, tap her on the shoulder and keep blabbing. Stick to this rule, it is very critical for your development.
2. Improv lessons. I’ve taken them and found it very, very helpful. I’ve sent students to improv and watched their ability to improvise skyrocket. Just Google “Improv lessons,” plus your city, pay the fee and join the class.
Now let’s focus on content.
1. Avoid logic. Nothing is as boring to a woman as logic. In a conversation I always try to stick to topics that elicit emotion. “So what’s your view on penis size?” Or, “Would you rather be a Unicorn or a Killer Whale?” Or, “Where do you want to travel?” Anything that forces her to engage her imagination will put you on the path to her bed.
2. Give value first. Approaching a woman and asking, “What’s your name?” Or, “Where are you from?” Or, “Do you come here often,” is lame, lame, lame. You’re asking her for something before you’ve given. It is cliché and boring. With your opener, make sure you give her some value. Make her giggle, or engage her emotions first. After you’ve entertained her slightly, then you can ask logistical questions. Hopefully she will ask you first.
3. You don’t have to be funny, but it helps, a lot. The key to humour is to amuse yourself. You don’t lay up a joke in the hope that it will make her laugh. If your joke makes you laugh, and you’re having fun, then other like-minded people will also find it funny. If she doesn’t get your humour, you don’t have chemistry.
4. Unless you plan to go direct, save compliments for after she is invested. Even then, use them sparingly. This is a controversial subject. The issue of, “Push Pull,” is hotly contested. Do you need to tease a woman, to say things like, “Well, you’re not really my type, but I’ll give you a shot?” It depends on her personality type. I’ve found, the hottest girls react well to playing, “Hard to get.” Hot women are so used to men drooling and complying with all their demands, they almost find it sickening. But if she earns your respect by investing, you can give her a compliment. I usually save compliments on her looks for when she’s riding on top of me. But that’s just me.
5. Don’t laugh before she does. This is a sign of insecurity. Of course there are exceptions, like if what you said is so hilarious you can’t help it. But most of the time it works like a laugh track on a bad tv show. It’s transparent and lame.
6. Read books. We spend far too much time with tv and Internet and video games. Books expand your vocabulary, your worldly knowledge and engage your cerebral cortex. I believe you should stay on top of pop-culture, but reading ten books will do more for your verbal game than one hundred hours of digital media.
7. Practice. It might take a few years, but you won’t grow if you don’t practice. By practice, I mean as often as possible. Five days a week for a year. If you’re not willing to work hard and pay the price, you will never develop the skill.
I hope this helps.
I'm Tony D from http://www.absoluteability.com